When people decide to be more intentional in their lives they often fall into the trap of trying to live someone else’s life. They decide that they want read books that literate people read, workout like fitness experts, eat like Mediterranean long-livers, or pick up the morning routine of Tim Cook. They want the meditation routine of Tim Ferriss or the prayer life of a saint.
They end up picking habits that are designed to impress other people rather than picking things that will make them enjoy their lives more. And then they wonder why the routine doesn’t stick, and they revert back to their underwhelming, but comfortable routine. Habits are hard to establish.
So choose wisely. If you’re going to intentionally integrate a habit into your life, you should consider a few things.
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Pick something that you really enjoy, but maybe is difficult to get done right now. It might be reading if you like reading, it might be running, but only if you actually like running. If you want to get fit, but don’t like running, then don’t pick running! Pick something you actually enjoy.
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Pick what Charles DuHigg (author of the Power of Habit) calls a Keystone Habit. It is a habit that will have a powerful ripple effect in the other areas of your life. It’s basically starting a chain reaction that benefits multiple areas of your life.
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Pick someone to do it with you, but pick wisely! If you’re going to start a habit, don’t partner with someone who thinks this is stupid. Their negativity is contagious. Find someone who knows that people can change, and is happy to do this with you. Belief is just as contagious as negativity, but a lot more fun. A friend of mine complained about his waistline and lack of time to work out, but when he started walking, talking and praying with his wife each evening, it was transformative. Walking, talking and sharing life with his favorite person in the world was exactly what he needed, it helped the habit stick, and the waistline took care of itself.
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Establish the habit-building cycle: Trigger > Action > Reward > Anticipation
This cycle is important for cementing the habit. Your trigger can be a time, a place, or a opportunity. The key is to identify that trigger beforehand. You know that you’re going to hit the gym at 11:30AM. You know that you’re going to read for 45 minutes as soon as the kids are in bed. You’ve scheduled a meeting with yourself on Friday afternoon for 90-minutes of guilt-free creativity. Know the trigger, have a clear action in place, and then have a clear reward (wake up early for a week means I buy myself that new coffee mug I’ve been eyeing). Then you need to look forward to the next time you’re going to do this. This is part of why you need to enjoy the habit you’re picking. -
Track the habit. We have such a hard time actually becoming consistent, and we tend toward being overly positive about ourselves or overly negative. Keeping track puts data behind the feeling. Just make sure you’re putting it somewhere you can see it! A habit tracking file that is buried in your computer somewhere isn’t that helpful. Instead post it on your kitchen wall, or in your office. Somewhere you’re going to be reminded of it daily.
So think about what might be one habit you’d consider adding to your day that you’d enjoy and would yield positive returns in your life. Starting small is fine, it’s just important that you start.