Why Flourishing in Your Work is More Important Than You Know – Three Activities

We all want to enjoy our work, and some of us do. Unfortunately, that portion of people that feel that they really enjoy their work is much smaller than it should be. Based on Marcus Buckingham’s book “Go Put Your Strengths to Work” only about 17% of people feel that they are able to use their strengths on a daily basis. Basically 1/6 people are doing that they are really good at, and what they feel energized by. But is hoping for “flourishing” really realistic?

At the same time, companies complain about staff turnover, staff training costs, that leadership conferences and expensive seminars are ineffective, and that people aren’t engaged in the work that they’re doing.
Talk to the rank-and-file, and they know that they’re not really engaged, and even if they really want to be engaged, they would be engaging in work that didn’t fit their personalities, aptitudes, talents and desires. Hiring and position placement is a classic issue of information asymmetries. Companies desperately need people who are driven, talented and engaged to serve in key roles. People desperately need jobs that allow them to flourish. It seems like we should be able to find a win-win, and yet we don’t. People take jobs that are not good fits for them. Companies create positions that demand conflicting skillsets and no weaknesses, and when people can’t live up to the impossible demands, they are penalized for trying.

So what can we do if we want to flourish in our work?

1. Goal: You need to know what work you love. In Buckingham’s book “Love + Work” he argues that we all have an innate set of loves that make us come alive, kind of a core essence of who we are. Experiences, family, trauma all can obscure or affect that core essence (the “Wyrd” as he calls it – it’s an old Scandinavian term) however that core can’t be changed. We are who we are.
   
2. Foundational Activity: You need to pay attention to your passions and curiosities. This is something that a lot of expats and a lot of mid-life professionals are bad at. Like really bad at. You ask them “What do you love to do?” and they will time and again answer “Here’s what I’m good at.” Now it’s good to know what you’re good at, but if that’s the answer to a very different question. People in middle-life get into a rhythm of focusing on what works and what gets results and what minimizes problems. Then they do that again and again, until they have lost sight of what they really love.
   Buckingham points out again and again that we spend way more time in school and life learning about abstract information that will rarely if ever be used again in life (rhombus definition? usefulness of the trapezoid anyone?) while neglecting essential life skills (that is post for another day but seriously – why don’t we have classes in personal finance, nutrition, mental health, technology use / abuse, negotiation and conflict resolution??) like identifying where our passions and gifting truly lie. Most of us are pathetic at verbalizing what we really love, and even if we do know what we love to do, we’ve learned to keep our mouths closed.
   
3. Hint: Start Keeping Track of When You Feel Excited and Engaged. Don’t trust your memory on this one. It’s awful. Nothing personal against your memory per se, it’s just that we tend to remember things in a way that is not always in alignment with reality. Peter Drucker in the Effective Executive wrote about an executive who was convinced that he had aligned his time allocation with his priorities found that he spent less than 1 hour a week on his number one priority. We’re all a bit like this. We’d like to think that we know where our time goes and where our energy is spent, but we need a tool (paper & pen, phone tracker, whiteboard, whatever – also take a look at this post on patterns in our work) to help us be objective.
   
   I have started keeping track of what I “Love” and what I “Loath” in Buckingham’s language, and it’s been insightful. I apparently love meeting new people. I love hearing why and how people became expats. I apparently don’t love planning agendas for administrative meetings. I love research and reading. I don’t love putting out fires and dealing with urgent problems.
   Putting it down on paper has been great. It’s not complicated or sophisticated, and honestly I wish I’d been tracking this from ages ago, but here it is:
   

4. Count the Cost of Doing What You Don’t Love. Seriously. You’ll spend approximately 80,000 hours of your life working. If that work is something that wears you down, frustrates you and takes your joy, I can pretty much guarantee you that you’re spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, kids, friends and family will be the ones that pay the price. You’ll pay too, don’t get me wrong, and your employer will pay as well, in the lost efficiency and lack of engagement, but it will be the people that you love the most that will pay the most. They won’t get the best you, and you won’t be able to love them as well as you’d like.
A smaller paycheck without stress and frustration is really a raise. A lateral move to do something you are going to love is better than a promotion to a role that sounds glamorous, but is going to cost you your peace.

Conclusion

Start making notes about what you love. Think about what classes you took that brought you to life. Think about where people have complimented your contributions. Try some new activities and see what does and doesn’t bring you joy. Do a little work Marie Kondo! Now all jobs have parts we don’t love – that’s normal – but if you can find what you’re really gifted in, what your strengths are, then you can start to slowly transition into a role where your abilities can be leveraged to their best and highest use, and you will enjoy your work so much more!

Also, if you have kids, now is a great time to start to take notice of what they love talking about, and where they light up. I’m talking to my kids about being contrarian investors (timewise) and thoughtful arrogance (thanks to Vitali Katsenelson). I’m also curious, has anyone tried keeping a Love/Loath log? Were you surprised by what you wrote down, or was it pretty much what you expected?